


I'm Ascending, and It's Wonderful.

by lovecorecryptid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C, F/F, Female Antagonist, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Multi, Narrative Control, Nonbinary Calliope, Nonbinary Character(s), Pining, Polyamory, Sexual Humor, Sprite Prototyping, Temporary Character Death, Trans Female Character(s), deadnaming, epilogue rewrite, trans male character(s), transmasc roxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovecorecryptid/pseuds/lovecorecryptid
Summary: June: something can matter without being ‘canon’ right??Rose: Exactly. You’re getting it.Rose: I’m going to make this story relevant.(Wish fulfilment, haha! This was really fun to write. Another gosh darn Epilogue Rewrite. I loved the Epilogues, but here you go anyway.)
Relationships: Calliope/Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, Jane Crocker & Dirk Strider, June Egbert & Rose Lalonde, Meenah Peixes / Aranea Serket (Past), Rose Lalonde & Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde & Rose Lalonde, Teresa Pyrope & Rose Lalonde
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Dirk Strider walks down the streets of New Prospit, taking note of the bright sunlight bouncing and reflecting off the warm golden bricks of the road. His mind wandered to the yellow brick road from a movie he saw once. He felt like that little girl, a stranger in a new world, just trying to get home. Although many, including himself, may liken him to the tin man. A lost, broken heart taken from his metal chest. Bit by bit, chop by chop, turning more machine than human. A slow release of the ability to feel like a person. He walks past another fucking swirled pillar holding up a shop balcony. The strong smell of baked goods wafts from inside.  
While looking back at the store, he nearly runs into a yellow striped awning. Once again, for the sixth time this hour, he looks at the message that his close friend had sent him. His eyes fly over the rather vague address in the text. He sighs and tucks the phone in his jean pocket. He keeps walking.  
Across the road, his friend waves. He looks over, his eyes picking up the slightest movement with the instincts of a hunter. Nice, he thinks, before realizing what a massive tool that makes him sound like.  
He jogs over to the café that she’s sitting at and slides into the seat across from her. New Prospit is completely flooded with quaint little cafés. He gives her a small acknowledging nod. A cool and nonchalant way of saying hello. She grins at him, smoothing down her tailor-made suit where it’s pulled tightly over her large chest. A carapacian walks over and taps a notepad with a pencil, looking at them quizzically.

Jane: No thank you. I already ordered.

The carapician nods and then puts her notepad and pencil down on the table. She then pushes it towards Jane and looks hopefully at her. Jane chuckles and signs the bottom of the page. The carapacian looks at Dirk and he shakes his head. She leaves.

Dirk: Did it occur to you that I might want food as well?

Jane: Oh don’t fret, Dirk. I ordered for you!

Jane: Right!! Here you go :B

Jane passes him a gift wrapped in red paper covered in the Crockercorp logo. Dirk unwraps it cautiously, as if expecting an explosive to be inside. Instead, it was a silver cutlery set with small horses engraved on each piece. Dirk looks at Jane in bewilderment.

Dirk: Holy shit. Is this real silver?

Jane: Hoo hoo, of course! You deserve nothing less.

Dirk: Why are you giving me this?

Jane: I saw it and thought of you.

Dirk: Oh. Ok. Thanks.

Dirk: This is really fucking awesome. Thanks Jane. I’ll pay you back. How much was this?

Jane: Oh, pish posh! You don’t need to pay me a penny!

Jane: This is simply a gift!

Dirk: Ah.

Dirk: But seriously, come on. How much.

Jane: Dirk, no! I forbid you from paying me back.

Dirk: But-

Dirk is cut off by the carapacian waitress from before coming back with food. Jane makes a happy little noise at the sight of the delicious smelling pastries on the plate. Dirk picks up a chocolate covered croissant and eats it delicately. After they had mostly finished their afternoon tea, Jane clears her throat and spokes.

Jane: So.

Jane: How are you enjoying Earth C, deary?

Dirk: Uh. Well.

Dirk: “Enjoying” isn’t exactly... The word I would use here.

Jane: Oh bother.

Jane: Go on then.

Jane: How are you coping with Earth C? Dirk sighs. It’s loud and full of emotion and lasts quite a while.

Dirk: Not well, unfortunately.

Dirk: This life doesn’t suit me, unlike the rest of you.

Jane laces her fingers together and leans onto them. She looks extremely ready to listen.  
There’s just something about Jane, Dirk thinks. She seems so open and honest. All her features are soft and kind. He can understand why people would underestimate her so much. Her gutsy, tomboyish attitude contrasts with her delicate mannerisms and warm exterior. But Jane holds a much more spiteful side as well. She can reach in and find what will upset you most, and will lash at that part relentlessly. Jane has a temper, that’s for sure. But that ability to hold her own contrasting with her trusting and kind nature is why Dirk likes her so much.

Dirk: It’s just...

Dirk: Roxy and Calliope have the Carapician kingdom.

Dirk: Your sugary desserts are renowned with the human population.

Dirk: John-

Jane: June.

Dirk: June, has the consorts.

Dirk: Rose and Kanaya are celebrities among the trolls.

Dirk: Dave is widely known in the troll and human kingdom as a meme extraordinaire and overall woke wonderchild.

Dirk: Jake is wildly popular all over.

Dirk: Karkat... Has the troll kingdom, I suppose.

Dirk: But I’m outcasted. Well, that’s what it feels like anyway.

Jane: Hmm!

Dirk: I’m fine with that, though.

Dirk: I’m really not cut out for this slice of life sort of lifestyle.

Dirk: It’s... Not really my style. I’m more of a fan of the meat side of things.

Dirk: I find myself missing the game. Dirk: It seems everyone is cutting themselves off from m-

Jane: Dirk, not to be rude but...

Jane: Have you considered that the reason that the four kingdoms won’t accept you is because you won’t accept any of them either?

Jane: To be frank with you, you haven’t made much of an effort to even try this lifestyle!

Jane: You hole yourself up in your house and trap yourself in a bubble of self pity!

Dirk: Ouch.

Jane: Look, Dirk, I know that it’s hard to break the habit, considering how you grew up...

Jane: But all of us had f*cked up childhoods as well!! And we’re coping just fine!

Jane: You won’t even try to let us help you!

Jane: This is the first time we’ve spoken in months and you didn’t even say hello!

Dirk: Well I-

Jane: LET ME SPEAK!!!

Jane: Why won’t any of you stupid boys let me speak??? You all want to run your mouths and run away from solutions to your problems!

Jane: It’s like you WANT to feel bad!

Jane: I’M SICK! OF PEOPLE!!! TREATING ME!!!! LIKE A CRY PILLOW!!!!!!

Jane: Either let me HELP YOU or don’t TELL ME!!!!!

A few carapacians look up from their tables, staring shocked at the sight of this large public figure shrieking at another public figure.

Dirk: Jane, come on. Don’t make a scene.

Jane: DON’T BELITTLE ME!!

Jane: You want to know my advice for this?

Jane: Probably not!

Jane: But LISTEN UP ANYWAY!

Jane: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and GO SOCIALIZE!!!!!

Jane: Geez Louise.

Jane: I’m LEAVING!

Jane throws a few dollars on the table and storms away, leaving a stunned Dirk in her wake. Dirk looks down at his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

Jane Crocker bites her lip to stop herself from crying. She stops in her tracks and waits for the tears to disappear. She is strong. She is brave. She just stood up for herself. But did she go too far? She looks back on her outburst. She should have been calmer about it, but she realizes she meant every word. Satisfied with this, she moves on to a tricky decision. Where to next?  
Her own house is too empty and cold for her mindset right now. She shudders at the thought of returning to the echoing halls of her mansion. Jake’s house? Goodness gracious no. She JUST had a breakdown about one stupid boy. She doesn’t think she could cope with another one. She’s pretty confident about her decision when she finally knocks on the door of what has started to become her second home. 

A familiar face opens the door.

A friendly face.

Roxy: ey gurl 

Roxy: come in 

Jane comes in, trying to look as “I didn’t just have a breakdown” as possible. They both go into the lounge room and Calliope looks up from where they’re sitting on the ground at the coffee table. They have their legs tucked under them, and they’re drawing Roxy with a set of crayons. He’s wearing a weird mash up of his god tier outfit, a tuxedo, and a fluffy onesie in the drawing.

Calliope: jane! ^u^ 

Calliope: woUld yoU like a cookie? i made them earlier. 

Jane: Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly. I just ate! 

Roxy: cmon 

Roxy: lets b bad ;) 

Jane: Well, alright. 

Jane: I could never turn down a warm baked good! 

Roxy: what kinda monster would u b 

Jane: Exactly. Plus, I certainly need it right now. Something simply awful just happened. 

Calliope: oh dear! 

Roxy: wut happened 

Roxy: was it jake 

Roxy: or politics 

Jane: Neither, actually! 

Jane: I just yelled at our good friend Dirk. 

Jane: He was telling me some sob story about feeling left out. 

Roxy: ?? he literally avoids *us* wtf 

Jane: That’s what I told him! 

Calliope: roxy, can yoU look at me for a qUick sec please dear? 

Roxy: oh sure 

Roxy: so 

Roxy: howd it go 

Jane: I left before I heard his reaction. 

Jane: Oh dear, do you think he’s angry at me? 

Roxy: ur prolly good j dont worry 

Roxy: hes prolly just soakin in pity juice from jake rn 

Roxy: oh wow bad phrasing 

Roxy: lmao 

Jane: Haha. Gross. 

Calliope: i sUre hope he’s doing ok. 

Calliope: dirk is fragile. 

Roxy: lol thats 4 sure 

Roxy: thats cute that ur worried abt him tho callie 

Roxy: boop 

He boops them on their forehead. A surge of jealously goes through Jane’s body, although she’s not exactly sure why.  


Jane: Aww, you two are so cute :B

Roxy: ik ik 

Roxy: were da cutest 

Roxy: u put a super pretty skull person and a rockin hot dude in a room together and we rule it yo 

Roxy: in terms of cuteness 

Roxy: n all other terms aswell 

Roxy: me n callie r gonna take ovr the world see if we dont 

Roxy: jk i cant b bothered 

Roxy: some1 stop me b4 i say more stupid shit 

Calliope: so jane, how’s the campaign going? 

Jane: Oh, phooey! 

Jane waves her hand like she’s shooing a fly.

Jane: We don’t have to talk about all that. 

Calliope: im sUre yoU’re sick of that political talk! 

Calliope: why don’t we talk aboUt a more pleasant topic. 

Calliope: we have a cat now! ^u^! 

Roxy: oh shit yea 

Roxy: lemme get her 

Roxy leaves the room and returns moments later with a beautiful white ragdoll cat in his arms.

Roxy: her name is drizzy glizzy whizzy blizzy mctrizzykizzy 

Roxy: drizzy 4 short :3 

Jane: Oh my gosh... 

Jane: She is so cute! 

Roxy: do u wanna hold her y/n 

Jane: Would she allow me to? 

Roxy: grl ur so cute 

Roxy: here 

He carefully lowers the cat into her lap and sits down next to her. Their shoulders touch and he leans against her. That gets Jane’s face to get hotter and a blush to spread across her face for reasons that she cannot think of. It worsens as Calliope sits on the other side of her. They all sit there staring down at the cat in Jane’s lap. It feels so right to Jane, her being sandwiched between them. A beautiful picture of three friends sharing a pleasant moment. Her feelings couldn’t possibly be anything else. Roxy speaks and she quickly snaps out of it.

Roxy: shes cute aint she 

Jane: Yes!! 

Jane: Mrs Mctrizzykizzy certainly is a gorgeous breed. 

Jane: Hoo hoo! She’s so floppy! 

Calliope: yes, ragdolls are known for that! 

Calliope: i did a lot of research on cat breeds jUst for this. i think we chose well! 

Jane: I agree. 

Roxy smiles at her and it fills her heart with a powerful warmth. He puts his head on her shoulder. She blushes again. Calliope clears their throat(?).

Calliope: jane! it’s getting late. woUld yoU like to stay over? 

Jane: Oh! You wouldn’t mind? 

Roxy: yoooo slumber party time 

Roxy: hol up 

Roxy: got a txt from my mom 

Roxy: srry 

Roxy: daughter?? 

Roxy: w/e 

Roxy: rose 

Roxy goes into the other room and texts her back.

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]--

TT: Roxy. 

TG: yea TT: Would you mind passing on a message to my father? He needs to know something. 

TG: yo why dont u txt him 

TG: u got his @ right 

TT: We got into a disagreement and he blocked me. 

TT: It isn’t important right now. I’m in a hurry and I need this delivered as soon as possible. 

TG: lol 

TG: kk whats da message 

TT: Tell him, in these exact words, I don’t want any sort of message lost in translation, got it, mister? You can just copy and paste if it’s easiest. 

TT: I need you to tell him to Stay The Fuck Out Of This. 

TG: yo slow down kanaya lmao 

TG: fr tho whats w th sass r u ok 

TG: wuts goin on btween u 2 

TT: Tell him that. 

TT: Verbatim. 

TG: quirk n everythin? 

TT: The quirk is optional. 

TT: That was mostly for effect. 

TG: we still up 4 dinner sunday 

TT: Of course. 

TT: Stay safe, Roxy. 

TT: For your own good. 

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]--

He goes back into the other room. Calliope and Jane are cooking dinner together. He smiles at the sweet scene.  
Later on, the three of them are tucked into separate sleeping bags. Calliope and Roxy usually sleep in one bed, but they decided to dedicate themselves to the sleepover aesthetic. They had done each others nails (and claws) and everything.  
Calliope: so what do people UsUally do at these sorts of things?

Roxy: talk abt crushes n stuff 

Roxy: i have a crush on...... 

Roxy: u ;) Calliope: well i have a crUsh on yoU too, roxy! hee hee Calliope: it woUld be a little awkward if we didn’t have crUshes on each other! 

Roxy: yeye 

Roxy: jane? 

Jane: Well, I’ll be honest with you. 

Jane: I have no idea! 

Roxy: bullshit 

Roxy: wut man got ur heart b 

Jane looks across at the one who has her heart. The one who is madly in love with the cherub who also has her heart.

Roxy: or woman :o 

Roxy: cmon grl fess up 

Jane: Can I confess something? 

Jane: At one point, I thought I had figured myself out. I thought I was a woman enraptured with women. 

Jane: But then I fell for another man. Or, a manlike-person-non-binary-lad. 

Jane: But... He’s already dating someone! And I’m in love with his partner as well and... 

Jane: I’m not sure if they’re open for that sort of thing. And I don’t want to get in the way of their beautiful relationship. 

Jane: I’m not sure that I am either! 

Jane: I’ve never done that kind of thing before. 

Jane: I’ve never even been in a monogamous relationship!! 

Jane: It’s all sort of muddled up. 

Jane: Besides, that messes up my idea of my sexuality even more! 

Roxy: janey.. 

Roxy: um 

He looks sideways at Calliope.

Roxy: ur as subtle as brick 

Roxy: im not jake know 

Jane’s heart leaps in her chest. She fears that she’s messed up her relationship with her two dearest friends. She feels a jumble of shame and fear, along with just a little hopefulness. Calliope pauses for a while and then sits up to speak.  


Calliope: if it offers some sort of closUre,  


Calliope: me too ^u^!  


Calliope: my cUltUre was never really one for relationships in the first place, so this is all new to me.  


Calliope: relationships between cherUbs were always for the sake of prodUcing offspring. :u  


Calliope: i never wanted to bring Up the fact that i have red feelings for yoU as well as that broUght the manner of ‘cheating’ into consideration.  


Calliope: and that complicates things even fUrther.  


Calliope: oh dear.  


Calliope: are yoU alright, love?  


They stare at Roxy, who has gone quiet. He suddenly sits up as well. His face is alight with a beaming smile. His eyes are unreadable as always.

Roxy: lmao 

Roxy: lets do it 

Jane: Excuse me? 

Roxy: yknow 

Roxy: poly :3c 

Roxy: im down yo 

Roxy: callie wbu 

Calliope: of coUrse! 

Calliope: oh, yoU two... 

Calliope rushes over and hugs Jane. Roxy climbs out of his sleeping bag and joins the cuddle. It’s more warm, safe and fulfilling then any sort of physical affection Jane has ever had. She feels very, very happy.

Calliope: we are all going to be so very happy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SELF INDULGENCE..... i love these three :3c


	3. Chapter 3

June Egbert is sick to death of going outside.  
She hates all of these dumb appearances she has to keep making at these dumb speeches. She hates people announcing her as John as she walks out on stage. She hates walking down the street and people looking at her. She hates knowing that they look at her and see her as a male. She hates it so much. She kicks a stone on the ground as she continues walking. She wonders if she’ll ask Rose about ‘passing’ better.  
She stops walking and flies over the remaining buildings to get to Rose’s house. Kanaya is watering plants outside. She drops down next to her, and a plant lashes out and tries to bite her. She runs to the left and nearly falls back into the dirt. Scratch that, she does. She curses her awkward, too-big limbs that have felt so heavy lately. June looks sheepishly up at the delicate lady who’s garden she had just disturbed. Kanaya looks a little rattled but she recovers quite quickly.

Kanaya: Hello June 

Kanaya: What An Entrance 

Kanaya: You Could Have Warned Me Before Making Yourself Known So Dramatically 

June: um, sorry kanaya! 

June: is rose here? 

Kanaya: Obviously 

Kanaya: She Rarely Isnt Here These Days 

Kanaya: Shes In Our Room 

June walks past Kanaya and inside the house. She brushes past a beaded curtain and a few plush velvet pillows. A few crystal balls litter the house, some of them recognizable from the ones she created and used in the game. It’s a rather beautiful house, she thinks. Not really her cup of tea, but beautiful nonetheless. She walks across a red carpet with intricate patterns sewn into it. She opened the door of Rose and Kanaya’s room. She’s not sure whether or not to feel awkward about entering a married couple’s room. Aren’t those things sacred? She pauses for a few seconds before entering. Rose is on the tasseled bed, reading a book. The curtains are drawn for the first time in a while. The sunbeams fold over her dark skin and form a halo around her hair. June can’t help but think she looks rather beautiful as well. Rose looks up from her book and smiles serenely. She puts it on the end table next to her and rests her chin in her hands.

Rose: Hello there, June. 

June: hi rose! 

June sits down on what looks like a fainting couch across from her. She crosses her legs in what she hopes in a feminine way. She then rethinks that. She doesn’t want to reinforce gender stereotypes, girls can sit however they want! God, this is all so hard and confusing. She keeps her legs crossed anyway.

June: so, um, why’d you call me here? 

Rose: I’d hoped I’d be able to talk to one of my oldest and dearest friends without you thinking I had some sort of ulterior motive. 

Rose: Why so suspicious, June? 

June: oh no, i’m not! 

June: i guess i just didn’t really think about that. 

June: i’m not exactly the most fun guy to hang around!! 

Rose: Oh? 

Rose looks deeply into June’s eyes, and to June it feels like she’s looking right into her soul. She looks down at her legs uncomfortably.

June: or most fun... gal? to hang around? 

Rose: What makes you think that you’re not a fun girl to be around? 

June: um, i don’t know, haha. 

June: i’m just being stupid, sorry. 

Rose: You’re not stupid, June. Naive, but not stupid. 

June: oh, thanks? 

June: oh right! sorry! i forgot to ask! 

June: how’s your, uh. 

June: c...on...dition? 

June: going. 

Rose: Much better, actually. 

Rose: Did you ever watch the live population counter when you were younger? 

June: maybe once. but it was too depressing. 

Rose: Exactly. It is bleak, isn’t it? 

Rose: I used to watch it almost every day when I was a child. 

Rose: It was such a ginormous number. Every single digit was an entire life. 

Rose: They lived and breathed just like I did. 

Rose: When I was going through something difficult, it soothed me. 

Rose: With that huge number, I knew that someone else was experiencing the same thing. 

Rose: It also amazed me that every second the number dropped a few digits. 

Rose: It dropped a lot more quickly than it rose, and the decrease only got quicker as time went on. 

Rose: I estimated when the population would vanish completely. 

Rose: It came a lot quicker than I though, though. 

June: yeah... 

June: i don’t really think about the original earth as much as i probably could. 

Rose: When Earth was destroyed, I once again checked the counter. 

Rose: It was offline. 

Rose: But I already knew the answer to the population count. 

June: four? 

Rose: Exactly. 

Rose: When we created this new Earth, I considered bringing back the counter. 

Rose: But I decided against it. 

Rose: The population of this Earth are just NPCs. 

Rose: Filler. 

Rose: They’re part of the background that we’ve designed. 

June: holy shit? 

Rose: Think about it, June. How many new friends have you made here? 

Rose: You’d assume that we’d have found more connections here. But all 12 of us are simply wrapped up in our own dalliances with each other. 

Rose: I cannot access them with my Seer powers. 

Rose: Possibly because none of them are relevant, essential or true. 

Rose: I look at someone passing by me on the street and I think about how none of them truly matter. 

June: wow, i never really thought about that. 

Rose: I no longer find comfort in thinking that other people share my experiences. 

Rose: I’ve grown stronger with this realization. 

Rose: The point is, I’m ascending and it’s wonderful. 

June: huh? 

Rose: Does this story even matter, June? 

Rose: Does this feel canon? 

June: oh god the canon... 

June: i mean, not really? 

June: but something can matter without being ‘canon’ right?? 

Rose: Exactly. You’re getting it. 

Rose: I’m going to make this story relevant. 

June: oh boy. 

June: are you gonna go super villain mode or something? 

June: rule over everyone with an iron fist?? hehe. 

Rose: Don’t be so dramatic. 

June: haha, sorry. 

That would be ridiculous, wouldn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO COLOUR TEXT WITHOUT MAKING IT A DIFFERENT FONT


	4. Chapter 4

Terezi Pyrope has almost given up.  
She looks around her surroundings and sighs. Her empty stomach makes itself known once again. She groans, looking around for a place to land. She’s sweating profusely and her eyes are swimming. She has to stop. Even just for a minute.  
Once again, the thought of going to the new Earth crosses her mind.  
She’s going back.

She knows that I need her. 

That I need her.

Really? You’re doing this now? Come on. We talked about this. I'm just what this story needs. 

You've had your shot, Dirk. Be quiet. It’s my turn.

Stop being so pushy. 

No.

Yes. 

No.

Yes. 

You’re acting like a child.

Oh really? Watch this, motherfucker. 

Rose Lalonde’s head begins aching. She pops a pill in her mouth but nope! It’s not working. She begins taking more. I thought your substance abuse had stopped, Rose. Tsk tsk. 

No, I’m doing fine. I resist the urge and my lovely wife takes the pills away.

Wow. Now you’re manipulating your wife. Real nice.

Is it really manipulating her to get her to take care of me? She would have done it with or without my influence.

Anyway, as Dirk and I squabble like toddlers, Terezi finds her way home.

Wow. Vague. You’re seriously not going to explain that? Big plot hole. 

I like it. Leaves interpretation to the reader and doesn’t make her powers completely known. Leaves a gap of mystery.

You would.

Terezi: >:[ 

Terezi returns to Earth C, and finds the nearest home of an acquaintance. Jade answers the door.

Jade, seriously? Come on. She barely knows Jade. Have they even talked in canon even once? 

She was in the tags. I had to incorporate her somehow.

Real professional. 

Jade answers the door and is shocked to see the long estranged Pyrope on her doorstep.

Jade: :o 

Jade: terezi!!!!! 

Jade: come in! 

Terezi: NO TH4NKS 

Terezi: 1LL JUST ST4Y OUT H3R3 

Terezi: HOW 4R3 YOU >:] 

Jade: pretty good!! 

Jade: i just finished watering my plants :B 

How much gardening is in this story? I hate this. You should have made Terezi speak to someone more interesting.

Dirk trips over his own feet and lands on his face.

Ow, fuck. Alright, I’ll be back, motherfuckers. Have your fun. 

Terezi: YUM >:O~ 

Terezi: WH4T D3L1C1OUS FROND SPROUTS 1 SM3LL 

Jade: hee hee theyre not for eating silly!!! 

Terezi: WH4T 4R3 TH3Y FOR TH3N 

Jade: ummm looking pretty 

Terezi: OH 

Terezi: TH4T SOUNDS STUP1D BUT OK 

Jade: so i dont mean to be rude or anything but...... 

Jade: why are you here??? 

Jade: i thought you were looking for vriska! 

Terezi: 1 W4S 

Terezi: BUT 1V3 MOR3 OR L3SS 4CC3PT3D TH4T SH3S GON3 

Terezi: SH3S 31TH3R D34D, DO3SNT EX1ST 4NYMOR3 OR 1S 1N SOM3 K1ND OF L1MBO TH4T 1 C4NT F1ND 

Jade: oh noo :( 

Terezi: Y34H 

Jade: no offense to the dead but she was kind of mean!! 

Terezi: >:[ 

Terezi: SH3 W4S A H3RO 

Jade: yeah but!!! 

Terezi: 4CT1ONS SP34K LOUD3R TH4N WORDS J4D3 

Terezi: YOU KNOW TH4T B3TT3R TH4N MOST P3OPL3 

Jade: wow yeah what i said was kind of uncalled for! 

I was wondering when you’d put your Vriska sympathization into the story. 

She's simply a compelling character.

Did you forget about poor, sweet Tavros? Everyone always pushes that aside when talking about Vriska. 

Nothing that Vriska did was ever her fault. It was like that because of a system put into place by-

Don’t preach at me, sweetheart. I don’t need some little girl yelling at me about shit that doesn't even matter. 

Jade: have you gone and visited june yet? 

Terezi: TH4TS 3GB3RTS N3W N4M3 R1GHT 

Jade: yea!! 

Terezi: NO 1 H4V3NT 

Terezi: 1M GO1NG TO GO 4ND S33 ROS3 

Terezi: DO YOU KNOW WH3R3 SH3 L1V3S 

Jade: 666 blackthorne road! 

Terezi: OK TH4NKS 

Did you just pull that street name out of your ass? That’s not what your street is called. 

Wait, before this, I need to sort something out.

Dirk Strider is outside, working on a robot. The grease slides over his hands and up his arm as he connects the wires to each other.

This is so unnecessarily sexual. 

Pleasure wracks his body as the gears begin running as smooth as they possibly can. He feels his pants tighten at the slow humming the gears make. He can’t help but groan.

What the fuck is…ngh… wrong with you…ah… 

Unfortunately in his ecstasy, his arm slips. The robot lands on top of him and crushes him. He can feel his ribs beginning to break. His bones turning to dust. Dirk Strider is crushed to death by his own raw passion, mid orgasm. 

And of course, the story rules this as Just.

Terezi returns to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, i'm sorry if this was hard to read!! i did some MAJOR editing to make this work on ao3. i had to rule out an entire other character!


	5. Chapter 5

Terezi Pyrope simply walks into my house. She knows that she has no need to knock. I’m already expecting her. Kanaya is out of the house at this moment, visiting Karkat. I am in the living room, lying down on the chez lounge. Terezi smirks at the sight of me.

Terezi: N1C3 THR34DS 

I’m wearing a stunning outfit to go with my new abundance of power. One must always dress for success. It is much less ridiculous than Dirk’s getup.

Terezi: WHY DONT YOU GO 4H34D D3SCR1B3 WH4T YOUR3 W34R1NG L1K3 4 B4D TROLL W4TTP4D F1C 

It’s a little hard to describe. All I can say is that it involves thigh high boots, a strapless leotard and transparent sleeves. I also have sun-like markings on my face. I have a belt with a crystal set-

Terezi: OK TH4TS 3NOUGH 

Terezi: WHY D1D YOU BR1NG M3 H3R3 

I need you.

Terezi: COM1NG ON 4 L1TTL3 STRONG >;] 

Terezi: WH4T WOULD K4N4Y4 TH1NK 

I need you to find Vriska. I know where she is, but I cannot reach her right now.  
She stops smirking and looks taken aback. Her eyes widen under her glasses. She goes pale.

Terezi: WH4T 

Terezi: L14R 

She knows that this smells like the truth. What does the truth smell like? I’ve always wondered. Maybe an indescribably delectable floral scent, but yet mixtures of sharp, harsh reality mixed in. Her nose wrinkles, rather cutely may I add, in disgust. Maybe the smell is worse than I’d first reckoned.

Terezi: YOUR3 

Whoops, sorry.

Terezi: YOUR3 Oh rats, I forgot the slash p this time. 

Terezi: CUT 1T OUT!!! 

Terezi: YOUR3 JUST M3SS1NG W1TH ME BY TH1S POINT! 

Terezi: LOOK 1 KNOW TH4T YOUR3 T3LL1NG TH3 TRUTH 

Terezi: T3LL M3 WH3R3 SH3 1S 

Terezi: PL34S3 

Right away.  
I offer her up a dream bubble. She raises her hand to it. Go on, touch it. It doesn’t burn, Terezi, don’t worry.

Terezi: OK H3R3 GO3S 

She hesitates and turns back to me again.

Terezi: WHY DO YOU N33D H3R B4CK 4NYW4Y 

Oh dear, I thought for a fleeting moment that this would be easy.

Terezi: R34LLY 

Terezi: YOU THOUGHT 1 WOULDNT 4SK 4NY QU3ST1ONS 

Terezi: HOW DO YOU KNOW WH3R3 SH3 1S 

I’m the Seer of Light, Terezi. I see-

Terezi: R3L3V4NCE Y34H Y34H 

Terezi: 4ND VR1SK4 1S TH3 MOST R3L3V4NT PL4Y3R 1N TH1S STORY 

Terezi: BL4H BL4H BL4H 

Terezi: WHY D1DNT YOU T3LL M3 34RL13R 

You didn’t ask.

Terezi: 1 D1DNT KNOW YOU KN3W!! 

Terezi: ...F1N3! L3TS DO TH1S STUP1D TH1NG 

Terezi touches the dream bubble and it takes her to another timeline. This is no ordinary dream bubble, this is a gateway to another universe. I need her to bring these two timelines together. One that has Vriska in it, sure, but not completely. She’s alive, but her soul is tortured and trapped in a cycle of enteral pain. So, I’m sure you’re dying to see.

Let’s see what Terezi’s up to, shall we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short one this time <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: mentions of suicide

Terezi lands onto the hard ground of a strange land. It is reminiscent of the troll heaven that Meenah had explored in that long and draining sequence that most people just skipped. In fact, looking around, she figures that this is the place in question. The place is eerily empty, though. All that she can hear is a far off howling. Being a woman of action, she heads for the noise. When she arrives there though, she sees a horrible sight. Two sprites are screaming at each other. Based on their voices and appearances, you can guess that their names are…

Serketsprite: This arr8ngement works for 8OTH of us!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: You’re 8eing a pain for NO REASON! Your dream is to 8e as powerful as Her Imperious Condescension without doing any work! 

Serketsprite: I’m h8nding it to you on a silver platter! 

Serketsprite: With our powers com8ined, we’ll 8e an unstoppable force! An immova8le o8ject! 

Serketsprite: Just! Comply! 

Meenahsprite: nah gill you crazy 

Meenahsprite: you aint gonna get me to agree to NOFIN 

Meenahsprite: reel shit only ok 

Meenahsprite: why you gotta do this i thought we was happy or sum bullshark 

Serketsprite: Oh can it, you! 

Serketsprite: Don’t you want POWER, Feferi? 

Meenahsprite: water you sayin 

Meenahsprite: who da fuck is feferi 

Serketsprite: Shit!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: Sorry Meenah, I share memories with my WEAK side. 

Serketsprite: Her 8ad ::::) 

Meenahsprite: waterever 

Meenahsprite: we both kno im not squallified for da ruling shit 

Meenahsprite: im not ready for that kinda 

Meenahsprite: reconchabilisea 

Serketsprite: AAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: I KNOW TH8T!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: YOU DON’T NEED TO DO ANYTHING, MEENAH!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: Leave this up to ME!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: All I need is for you to touch me!!!!!!!! 

Meenahsprite: whoa 

Serketsprite: TH8T’S IT!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: IF YOU WON’T COMPLY, I’LL DO IT MYSELF!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: C8ME!!!!!!!! 

Serketsprite: HERE!!!!!!!! 

Meenahsprite and Serketsprite battle in a furious circle. Meenahsprite keeps dodging out of the way of Serketsprites grasp. Terezi steps into the clearing and cups her hands around her mouth.

Terezi: H3Y!  


Terezi: WH4TS GO1NG ON H3R3

Meenahsprite pauses and looks up.

Meenahsprite: who da shell are

Serketsprite: G8tcha! 

Serketsprite leaps at Meenahsprite. Terezi looks back and watches in horror as they begin to glow and merge. Their… whatever is going on with their legs, forms into a distinguishable pair. They flicker rapidly between the colors blue and pink.

????????sprite^2: F8nally. 

????????sprite^2: I’m complete. 

????????sprite^2: They w8ll all bow down… 

Condfangsprite^2: TO )(ER IMP-ERIOUS SPINNER---ET MINDFANG!!!!!!!! 

Terezi: WH4T 

Condfangsprite^2: Oh, w)(o’s dis lil guppy? 

Condfangsprite^2: Waita minnow. I recognize you. You’re t)(at little Terezi gill, ain’t you? 

Condfangsprite^2: I suppose you want to know )(ow I, t)(e most wondrous of 8eings, came to 8e. 

Terezi: NOT R34LLY 

Terezi: BUT 1 B3T YOUR3 GO1NG TO T3LL M3 4NYW4Y 

Terezi: H3Y 

Terezi: WHY DO YOU SM3LL L1K3 VR1SK4 >:[ 

Condfangsprite^2: I saved my s)(oal. Well, Meena)( did. 

Condfangsprite^2: When )(IC snapped Aranea’s neck, s)(e knew the only way to save her shoal was to prototype )(er. 

Condfangsprite^2: In t)(at game, death wasn’t meant to 8e forever. 

Condfangsprite^2: S)(e prototyped Aranea with an empty kernel sprite. Another sprite was floating around. I 8elieve it contained the s)(oal of a fis)(. W)(o da fuck even knows w)(at went down spritewhys in t)(e Alp)(a session. 

Condfangsprite^2: Trapped by )(er greef for the loss of )(er friend, Meena)( killed herself. 

Condfangsprite^2: As s)(e did, fis)(sprite came over to see what was )(appening. 

Condfangsprite^2: Meena)(‘s corpse fell into the sprite. 

Condfangsprite^2: Meena)(sprite and Araneasprite lived )(appily together for a few sweeps. They developed red feelings for each other and 8egan a red relationship. Although meanwhile, Araneasprite, in )(er new form, 8egan to hatch a plan. 

Condfangsprite^2: Araneasprite found a lost Vriska g)(ost, 8ut it wasn’t GOOD enough. S)(e needed the reel t)(ing. Full of anc)(or, s)(e searc)(ed for Vriska. 

Condfangsprite^2: S)(e scourged 8u88le after 8u88le, timeline after timeline. 

Condfangsprite^2: Eventually, s)(e found )(er. T)(e reel Vriska. S)(e was midfig)(t wit)( Lord Englis)(, 8efore Araneasprite took her. 

Terezi: HOW COULD SH3 ‘T4K3’ H3R 1F SH3 W4S 4L1V3? 

Condfangsprite^2: S)(e wasn’t. 

Condfangsprite^2: S)(e died, and Aranea took )(er just 8efore the pendulum decided her deat)(. 

Terezi: TH4TS CH34T1NG!! 

Terezi: TH4TS WHY 1 COULDNT F1ND H3R >:,[ 

Condfangsprite^2: Yes. 

Condfangsprite^2: 8ut onto another matter, 

Condfangsprite^2: TAK—-E M-E 8ACK TO YOUR UNIVERSE 8EAC)( 38888) 

Terezi: NO FUCK1NG W4Y 

But Terezi can feel her body start glowing and looks up to see Condfang’s body do the same. They are zapped back to the current timeline.  
Now, who’s ready for some _conflict?_


End file.
